Just when we seem to have parenting techniques that work with the first child we discover that they don't work with the next. Wouldn't it be great if children were born with instructions? When you understand your children's perceptual styles Terrell Suggs Hoodie , you'll discover they really are born with an ?instruction manual.?
Each of us is a unique combination of the Four Perceptions: Audio, Feeler, Visual, and Wholistic. When children are born, they are 100 percent Feelers. Although they will continue to have sensitive feelings during their formative years Marshal Yanda Hoodie , their primary Perception will begin to reveal itself when they're about six months old.
The following is an excerpt of a story that reveals how differently the child behaves based on his primary perceptual style.
The principal desire for AUDIO Children is to maintain personal control and a sense of fairness. I was sitting in the allergist's office when a woman entered with her four-year-old, Aaron, and his cousins, Carrie, 13 C.J. Mosley Hoodie , and Curt, 11. Immediately Aaron started acting silly. His mother told him to sit down and behave. ?No!? he shouted and giggled.
He picked up magazines and threw them on the floor. ?Pick them up and put them back,? his mother demanded. Aaron hurled them on the table and then noisily started rolling and kicking on the floor.
His mother glared. ?Get up and sit down right now!? His seat barely touched the cushion before he was back on the floor again.
His mother said in a firm voice, ?When we get home, we're having a cookout and then we're going swimming. If you don't behave Joe Flacco Hoodie , you will eat in your room and stay there for the rest of the night. The choice is yours.?
The change in Aaron was instantaneous. ?I'll be good.?
Aaron's actions were motivated by his desire to maintain personal control. He wanted to show off to his cousins. When his control of the situation was threatened, his emotions drove his reactions and he became defiant.
When Aaron's mother gave him a choice, it allowed him to maintain personal control and he sensed the fairness.
The principal desire for FEELER Children is to please you or not make you angry. For Feelers, their feelings drive both their actions and reactions. Here is a summary of the same scenario about Aaron, only this time he's a Feeler.
Aaron was excited because his cousins were visiting. He started spinning around with his arms outstretched. Suddenly he lost his balance and crashed into the corner of the end table. ?That's enough!? his mother snapped. ?Come over here and sit down right now.?
With his eyes lowered and shoulders hunched Lamar Jackson Hoodie , he crept over to the chair in the corner. He drew up his knees and rested his head on his knees. Soon he quietly raised his head to wipe away a tear. Then he slid off his chair and pulled his shorts down to reveal the bruise to his mother while tears flowed and he whimpered, ?I hurt myself.?
?I'm sure it hurts, but it will get better,? she said matter-of-factly.
Aaron threw his arms around his mother and said he was sorry. ?It's okay,? she said and smiled. Aaron glowed. All was right with his world. His mother wasn't mad at him. With a happy smile Trace McSorley Hoodie , he said, ?I love you.?
The principal desire for Visual Children is for everything to be perfect, just as they visualized it.
Visual children are usually obedient, unless they have to deal with an unexpected change. Then they might resist. Let's revisit Aaron as a Visual child.